when all the things are mixing up

for know reason, my mind is stuck with you. yes, you. though it was just a flirting-naughty kind of relationship that does not requires any commitment nor love, i am accidentally like you. yes, it is hard to admit it but yeah, when you started to give me those hints, i was trying to avoid anything that might ruined our friendship. because i knew that deep inside my heart, i am not mentally prepared for any serious relationship. however, you struck me a with a trapped, asking me aboutdecided what i felt about you.


but after a while, again, after all those denials, confessions and words involved. you decided its better to just stick with the normal us. i was shocked actually, probably i was expecting something else back then :p


i don't know.


probably, we should just let the time construct everything for us.


i don't know what will happen in the end. i don't have the intention be hurt or hurt someone else. i am honestly so sick of fighting, crying or being lonely. i wanted to lead a happy life. i want to smile, i don't want to feel lonely anymore. and yet, i do know that both of us had a painful past where we can't really recover from it. but do you know something, its the past that actually thought us to be strong, to be matured.


no, i don't blame you. lets just pray for the best.