emptiness :(

i can't stop thinking about him. it hurts me every second to just thinking about him. i tried to stop myself from being lost in this feeling but i just could not help it. why do i have to think about you? it was couple of years back, when we were still together and now, after 2 years we had already broke up, why can't i just let you go? why do i still love you deeply inside my heart? i never knew that these love could kill me from the inside. why sayang?


i remembered, we were having our lunch or something at Pizza Hut in Mid Valley, i think it was in around 2006-2007. after we had our meal, you did asked me whether i want to have an ice cream as my desert. you saw the other customer bought a huge ice cream but both of us did not know what type is that. so, we asked the service boy there to bring us the exact type of ice cream. boy, did you remembered that the boy always smiled at us, he looked us as a happy couple, right? then, we had our ice cream :) sayang, it was actually triple pleasure but we both did not know back then.


i miss you so much! every single day at Pizza Hut now, i am scared that i might have just accidentally met you. i know, i should have get over you by now because it has been 2 years that we apart together. but i just can't. i don't know, maybe because i love you too much. i remembered holding hands with you, just cuddling beside you, stared at you, smiled at you, hugged you tightly when i felt so lonely. but now?


i could not accept anyone else. i rejected every person that wanted to be with me because i am scared that he will leave me just like you did. he will disappointing me in a way that hurts me like you did. boy, i laugh, i smile, i act like there is nothing happen to me physically but inside my heart, it's screaming your name. wanted to be with you again. i don't know what is God's plan to me. i really don't know. i'm crying from the inside, logging for your love again. maybe we should not met in the first place cause if i knew that these will happen, i will never be your girlfriend. because when i fall in love once, it will lasts forever. trust me.